Sunday, April 26, 2015

Curhat: Feeling Down

Hi! Happy Sunday!

This is not my week. I have to build a better week! Ya... I just want to tell a story about my worse week, ever! Writing my thought without any doubt. And, leave with a new good feeling. Let's start...
They said, most of us go through periods of our lives when we feel blue. Ya.. and I was on this period this week. Have you got this (shit) feeling too? For most of us, these feelings come and go. When you're down in the dumps, everything feels bad. You're not interested in anything, don’t feel like connecting with others or even going outside. Don’t even try to move, pass the ice cream. It seems that you want anything that will actually make you feel even worse! The last thing you want is to see happy, joyous people, laughing and having everything you can’t have. It’s like a part of you is keeping yourself prisoner and won’t let go. That’s pretty dismal. And, the fact is, you truly are down. You're feeling bad because your physiology is in a down state – slumping, shallow breathing, frowning, heavy, looking down.
Well, I'm a type of girl who don't like to show my sadness easily (I've always tried to look happy) And ya, it provides for a good distraction, at least for me. Is it a good choice? I think yes.
All I know is I DISAPPOINTED myself. I might not be sure whether I should feel angry, or just impatiently wish that I would hurry up and get over it. Disappointment can hover at the front of your mind and niggle at the back, bringing you a grey perspective on life, even if you’re trying to forget about it. It’s complex, containing a subset of other emotions like anger, hurt, sadness, and probably many others too subtle to identify. Sometimes, those emotions by themselves are easier to deal with, but disappointment can leave me at a loose end.
I've cried for no reason. I hate everything! I blame it to anything! I'm deppresed! Wait, am I? Ah, I feel so lonely yet I'm not alone. I think I'm loose. I'm a looser. Actually I don't know why I'm writing this here but, all I need is convey the entire contents of my feelings without no one telling me to stop. That's it! I want to talk a lot of things, listened carefully, and given feedback at the end of the story. Thank you to those of you who want to listen (read) my stories and give feedback for me, I appreciate it. Ya, I need someone to numb my pain, like always. I need a place to cursing all the things that I hate. It's me. And, thanks God, I have it. At least I have some friends who can be a place to take shelter when my heart is wounded. I was cursing them like they are my enemy!!!! IT'S SO COOL!
Tomorrow is Monday, which mean I have to start a daily life with positive thoughts. I don't want to fall in this (shit) feeling AGAIN! Thanks for all of your support (my friends, cousins, readers). I love you so much!
Be there around people who can make you laugh out loud, tell everything, who want to listen without blame, and which advise with heart. So, your down-feeling will hide under your happiness.

*note: please ignore my bad English \m/